Ask me any sport related question. I could not give a toss about it. Invite me to hit, kick or throw a ball and you’ll regret it. Despite my tragic failure to care about any sports I do love people who do.

I discovered a Gabriel Garcia Marquez article on football in an early issue of the long defunct Idler Magazine. Not one page of his books had the magical reality of that one article. Then there was Zia Mahmood who had me hooked on his weekly Bridge column in the tissue thin airmail edition of the International Weekly Guardian. I still have no understanding of Bridge but my imaginarium is all I need. Today I have been reminded of these masterful streams of consciousness by @AndyC who seems to be enjoying the footy

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