Emmy (age 3) and I spent a happy hour or so down the beach this arvo, we built an entire sand-planet. I attempted to fathom the narrative from Em’s three-year old brain as we played. Characters from the film Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and a childrens book which involves a bloke called Waldo who had a nice house with a boathouse by the sea.

We started with Baron Bomburst’s castle with a few canals and watchtowers, then we made a lake with a small village on the otherside which had a bustling cafe where we enjoyed chips and ice-cream. We then built Waldo’s house with a jetty to tie up the swordfish and went out boating.

During a particulary vicious storm invloving a chubby three year old splashing around like a mad porpoise the Swordfish sank, but was rescued by Jemima and Truly Scrumptious. We then had to build another village, no, more of a parish. The windmill and old barn with the bumpy road down to Mr Coggins’ garage. This was near to a cliff with a cave at the top which Waldo often slept in.

Jemima (Em) collected lots of periwinkles and Caractacus (me) held them in his hand whilst they squirmed around. This went on for a while then we went back to Waldo’s place for tea. Truly Scumptious (also, me) drank neat whisky and ate pork scratchings. Whilst the kids had tea and chips with lots of sauce.

My brain feels a bit sore now.